If you know me, you know that I have a tendency to be overambitious with my projects. I’m an all in type of person. So when I commit, I commit so hard that I when I get into a block, I don’t give myself an out. For example, my previous painting. I wanted to finish a large painting of poppies swaying and being flexible in the wind.
Great intention, but in practice I was the opposite of flexible. I didn’t give myself enough time and room to sway with the painting. It’s a type of painting where I need a lot more time to feel, play and express, but I was planning on giving myself two days. Two days full of real life adult responsibilities on top of that. During that time, your mood and feelings change ever so slightly. But it’s just enough to alter the way you interact with this project.
So all that’s to day, this restrictive timeline was not at all practical. My mood did, in fact, change, and when I sat down to paint again, it went in a completely different direction. I wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to develop the painting the way I wanted because I was rushing myself. And when I couldn’t deliver, I felt like I had failed. To add salt to injury, the sun was not working in my favor. It was bouncing all over my painting, making it extremely difficult to see colors accurately. Talk about pressure and frustration.
At the end of this painting session, I was so defeated.
Once I was able to process what had happened over some tea and quiet time, I could finally give myself some grace. So let me remind you all to please be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness and grace as you go about your days. Things pile up and it can get tough. There’s no rush! You are allowed to take more time to finish a task or project. Heck, there are times you are allowed to leave it unfinished for an undefined amount of time. And in the meanwhile, you’re also allowed to divert your attention to something else a little more manageable in a shorter period of time. Even if it’s to be able to say “I completed something today”. Certain goals, projects and tasks need our attention intermittently over the course of a week, or even a month. We have a lot going on. That’s real life. And that’s ok.
Or perhaps you just need to do something else as a pick me up. I am more than happy to cross off “make hot chocolate” off my task list.